Almost Worth Knowing: The Future of Animal- Referencing, Rhymed, Farewell Phrases

Too long have reptiles dominated the Rhymed Farewell Catchphrase Scene. Since I was a kid (and I'm sure since long before that) it was common knowledge that, when a person says "See you later, alligator," you reply "In a while, crocodile." Well, I say no more.

I've come up with a list of phrases referencing other phyla in the animal kingdom.

Good-bye, Magpie
Peace out, Rainbow Trout
Keep it real, Slimy Eel
Farewell, Madame Gazelle (the use of madame is ensure proper rhythm... obvi...)
Time to embark, Monsieur Aardvark (this is a great response to the previous phrase, and vice versa)
See you soon, ya Big Baboon
and my personal favorite - Take care, Panda Bear! (Koala Bear should be used when addressing Australians)

A quick search of the phrase "Take care, Panda Bear" returned a page that further had the following lines:
See you soon, Racoon!
Ta ta for now, Moo Cow!
Stay sweet, Parakeet!
If you wish, Jelly Fish!
and
Out the door, Dinosaur!

I really like the last one. Moreover, while "If you wish" is not a good-bye phrase, I imagine it still works as a response to somebody who is saying good-bye to you.

Well, that's all I've got for now. There are still a few farewell phrases without an animal counterpart, such as "gotta go" and "gotta run." Maybe you can come up with some more? Take it as a challenge. Good luck, 'cause I've been thinking about this for days... and "Gotta Go, Hippo" just sounds kinda funny.

On a different, but similar note - don't you think "Good-bye, Samurai" has a nice ring to it?

Almost Worth Knowing: Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson as the Tooth Fairy?

As I was leaving the subway station this morning, I passed by the following poster advertising the upcoming film, Tooth Fairy, starring Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson in the title role.

That's right, The Rock is playing the Tooth Fairy

The film is coming out on 1/22/10. Needless to say, I'm excited. Moreover, a quick Google search showed that 20th Century Fox is also running another poster print, as follows:

Most importantly, these two posters have opened my eyes to a whole new world of possibilities: puns formed by replacing the word "truth" with "tooth" in popular quotations. Besides the title of today's entry, here are a couple of others I came up with:

"Whenever you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the tooth."

"The tooth will set (make?) you free."

"The pure and simple tooth is rarely pure and never simple."

"Tooth is more stranger than fiction."

"A lie told often enough becomes the tooth."

Maybe you can come up with some others? In any case, I'll also post the trailer for the film below. I wonder how Julie Andrews and Billy Crystal got roped into this one.

Almost Worth Knowing: Headphones So Expensive My Ears Aren't Worthy

First off, I won't say that these are the most expensive headphones on the market. However, I will say that Amazon.com sent me an email advertising a sale on headphones, 15-30% off. The headphones looked pretty nice, but the email didn't give me an idea of the price... I followed the link...

$123.20 (regularly $149.99)?!?


$125.94 (regularly $179.99)?!?

WTholyF!!! Really?! For that price, there better be a little Frank Sinatra clone inside singing in my ear... or at least the clone of a lesser known Backstreet Boy...

Now, I know that there are very fancy noise canceling headphones out there that cover the whole side of your head, have multiples speakers, and a bass system better than that which is now in my car.... but I highly doubt you can do that with an ear bud. So what are you in fact paying for? I don't know. The second pair don't even look good - more like little snow cones in your ear.

To top it off, the Average Customer Rating for the first pair is only a 2.5, while the Amazon rating for the latter is a decently better 3.9. Honestly, for the price these babies cost... both better have a perfect 5.

At least you can get Free Super Saver Shipping.

Almost Worth Knowing: Ellie Kemper on the Office

I know... I am terribly late on writing this blog. I bet a MILLION bloggers beat me to it. Oh well.

A few months ago, I wrote an entry entitled A Great Blowjob in Honor of Valentine's Day, in which I posted a video called Blowjob Girl. Some of you were hesitant to watch it because of its title, but I know that most eventually did anyway. Perverts.

Well, the other day, as I finally got around to finishing Season 5 of The Office, you can imagine my surprise when I saw none other than Blowjob Girl join the cast! That's right, Blowjob Girl, known to her friends as Ellie Kemper, plays the Scranton branch's new receptionist Erin Hannon. She's pretty fun and quirky on the show, and the fans have taken well to her. I can't stop thinking about her dry blowjobs, but to each his own, I guess. I look forward to seeing more of her as the show continues.

"Being on set with them is like being in a dream, except the dream is real and I can reach out and touch them. Except I am trying not to touch them too much, because I was raised right."
—Ellie Kemper, on The Office

Challenge: Without the help of the internets and not counting Steve Carell's illustrious credits, can you name any other works that other office Stars have taken part in?

Almost Worth Knowing: Patrick Swayze Dies at Age 57 of Pancreatic Cancer

It has been well-known for some time now that Patrick Swayze was battling Pancreatic Cancer. The cancer, which he contracted in early 2008, finally completed its course last evening. It is sad to look at pictures of him from his last days- gaunt, old, and generations apart from the graceful, vibrant star he was in his youth. This summer has been a summer of death for many large figures in Hollywood, and, for me, this is another striking reminder of how old my parents are getting. My father is a year older than Swayze.

Nonetheless, I will try my best to remember my father in his youth, as I'm sure Swayze's image will be preserved forever in classics like Dirty Dancing and, one of my favorites, Ghost.

Jennifer Grey, in remembrance of her days working with him on Dirty Dancing, had this to say: "When I think of him, I think of being in his arms when we were kids, dancing, practicing the lift in the freezing lake, having a blast doing this tiny little movie we thought no one would ever see. ... Patrick was a rare and beautiful combination of raw masculinity and amazing grace."


Even if we never see him again, maybe Whoopi or Demi will?

Challenge: Without using the internet, link Swayze to Kevin Bacon in the fewest number of degrees possible.

Almost Worth Knowing: Life of Young Hugg

Last night was the oh-so-stressful draft for the EB Fantasy IV fantasy football league. Man, what a hair-yanking ordeal that was. Nonetheless, something good certainly came of it, and I don't just mean my team.

In the course of my research, I happened upon an interesting note about Oakland Raiders running back, Justin Fargas. The following lyrics come from track 11 on his solo rap CD, published under the stage name Young Hugg.

"Gonna have a drink to this one
We gotta bang her
E'rebody to the dance floor for this one
I got a story to tell..."

You can listen to this track, "Life of Young Hugg," as well as any other songs from the album on Rhapsody's website for the artist here: In Black and White, by Young Hugg. Curiously, Hugg is also the son of Starsky and Hutch actor, Antonio Fargas, who played Huggy Bear (I wager this is the justification for his chosen alias). Fargas published his rap album in late 2006, becoming this feature artist around the same time he was promoted to first string running back for the Raiders. Indeed, after listening to a few tracks, I must say, "what an artist he is." Certainly, Young Hugg's own words put it best... "from a pimp, to a player, to a baller..."

Challenge: How many other professional athletes can you name that have published music careers? Internets not allowed, except possibly to elaborate upon your response...

Almost Worth Knowing: New Jersey's Favorite Neighbor

It's Monday morning everyone! Hope all is well? On Thursday last, I pondered out loud about my backyard neighbors and nighttime visitors, the deer.

here's an interesting question that was raised tonight, and one I did not know the answer to myself. Deer... do they sleep standing up or laying down? in the same place every night? how often at a time? have deer dreams?

Curiously, that side note generated the most responses I've had in some time. Fortunately, the question was important enough to me that I had already found this interesting and informative article: Are You Likely to See a Whitetail Sleeping? The article is from the Quality Deer Management Association website, and based on interviews with Charles Alsheimer and Dr. Leonard Lee Rue III (who are "household names to whitetail hunters throughout North America") so I suspect the information is reliable.

New Jersey Deer

In short, deer sleeping habits are peculiar and difficult to observe because they sleep for very short periods at a time and often with their eyes open. Alsheimer reports "when their eyes are closed it is generally for periods of less than five minutes." I hope his observations are not based on his short term memory.

As far as nesting is concerned, "Deer sleep anywhere they bed and may do so singly or in groups. According to Charlie, they are creatures of habitat and they may bed in the same location day after day and month after month. Dominant bucks have favorite bedding spots, and they’ll even kick subordinate bucks out of a bed." Moreover, "Deer may lay with their front and back legs tucked under them, their back legs tucked and front leg(s) extended and even on their side with all of their legs extended." I totally would have thought they slept standing up, like cows, but I guess I was wrong.

Finally, sleep only occurs in short bouts of rest followed by an alert period, in a 30-minute cycle. In between cycles, deer may stand up, stretch, urinate, or defecate, before laying back down. Specifically, "Dr. Rue has observed bucks curling their lips while sleeping. He also has video of eyes fluttering and contends this is REM sleep and that it suggests deer can dream."

For some reason, this image came up when I did a
Google Image Search for New Jersey Deer.
Contrary to the wisdom of Google, it is not a deer...

Well, there you go... all about deer. On a personal note to Tony, the sound deer make is "deeeeer!" This is contrary to the belief of Mrs. Malone, who once tried to poison our adolescent minds with the notion that deer sound like cows. Of course not... they don't even sleep standing up like cows!

Almost Worth Knowing: Buzz Aldrin Rock'em Sock'ems a Reporter

Tonight, I'm taking a break from my Won Ton Baby coverage. In the meantime, check out this video I found of Buzz Aldrin delivering a good old-fashioned knuckle sandwich to a highly deserving individual:

Buzz Aldrin (Edwin Eugene Aldrin, Jr), as I hope everyone knows, is the famous pilot and astronaut of Apollo 11, crew mate of Neil Armstrong, and the second man on the moon. The reporter in the video is Bart Sibrel, a shameless film maker and publicity stunt seeker, who ambushed Aldrin and accused him of participating in a staged lunar landing. With a film crew at hand, Sibrel attempted to have Aldrin swear on a Bible that he really did walk on the moon. In the video, you can hear Sibrel say, "You're the one who said you walked on the moon when you didn't." The video also has some awesome replays of Aldrin's response. I just wish the camera guy was keeping a better eye on the action...

In other news, I mentioned Punch Out in the title, as a play on the game Mike Tyson's Punch-Out (which I've actually commented on in a previous post). The game played an important part in my childhood, teaching me concepts like pattern recognition (bad guys blink before they hit you) and to attack a problem at its weakest point (King Hippo had a big X over his belly button). Recently, a sequel (entitled Punch-Out!!) was released for the Wii, which I've had the opportunity to play. It was not bad and very reminiscent of the original. Of course, in that regard, it's also hard enough to make me cry myself to sleep in fury and frustration...

Challenge: Well, today I mentioned Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong, the famous first and second men on the moon. Of course, there was one more individual on the famed Apollo 11 flight. He never set foot on the moon, but his job was important all the same. Without use of the internets, can you name the third individual?

Update: I also forgot to mention... and I knew this but it slipped my mind... this past Monday, July 20, 2009, was the 40th Anniversary of the Apollo 11 Lunar Landing. Stupid me...

Worth Knowing: At Age 50, Michael Jackson has Passed Away

If you haven't heard the news yet, Michael Jackson, 50, died yesterday from cardiac arrest. Rumors and media speculation have focused on his deteriorating health for some time now. You can read more about it and watch a pseudo-tribute to the artist in Time Magazine's article - Michael Jackson Dead at 50: A Life of Talent and Tragedy.

Jackson's latter years were certainly filled with weirdness; his once spectacular media persona fell to the wayside as the life-long hit artist became the focus of much negative media attention and the butt many jokes. Still, his legacy cannot be denied, and, as a public figure, he affected much positive change through his music and philanthropy. In remembrance of the artist, here is a list of my favorite songs by Michael Jackson:

5) Dirty Diana - Many people don't count this song among MJ's greatest hits, but if you listen to the way MJ sings it, you can tell that he's singing with everything he's got. His intonation, more than the lyrics, really conveys how much he wants to resist her, but just can't. This song is a perfect example of what makes him the King of Pop and one of the great voices in music. Man, Diana was so dirty - noo.

4) Black or White - I remember watching the music video for this on MTV, back when MTV had music videos, and thinking how cool it was the way one person was warped into the next. Jackson's songs were as much about presentation as they were about the music. In re-watching the video just now, I'm reminded of how truly epic and globally unifying Michael Jackson was. "I'm not gonna spend my life being a color."

3) Man in the Mirror - For some reason, I used to sing this song ALL THE TIME when I was younger. I would just leave this song, from the Bad album, on repeat and let the words inspire me. Don't be too hard on me: I was still young and fat then, and I needed some motivation.

2) Thriller - If not Michael Jackson's most famous song, it is certainly his most famous music video. I would argue that it is the most famous music video of all time (and I wouldn't be alone).

1) Billie Jean - At the end of the day, Billie Jean is still, undeniably, my favorite MJ hit. Many people might not agree, but I like the song for it's awesome dance beats, and the way the emotion comes through in his voice (like in Dirty Diana). It's also one of his earliest hits and the one I like singing along to most.

The songs are linked to their YouTube videos, so you can just click the links to hear the songs. I also just want to make honorable mentions of Heal the World (which may have been a little sappy, but I have fond memories of when it premiered) and Smooth Criminal (which inspired the awesome cover by Alien Ant Farm and was, possibly, their only hit).

Almost Worth Knowing: You Have To Try This...

"Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A" is as iconic as the original Nintendo Entertainment System. If you don't know what I'm talking about, I suspect that you are either a girl or under the age of 20.

Known officially as the Konami Code, it is perhaps most well recognized in North America as being the code that made Contra playable (in an otherwise impossibly difficult game, the code granted the player character 30 lives instead of just 3). The code was originally used in Konami's Gradius franchise, and can be found in many games by Konami, as well as other manufacturers.

Video games, however, are not the only place that the code can be found.

THAT'S RIGHT!!! Apparently, even websites can employ cheat codes. If you enter the code on our favorite social networking website, Facebook, you can achieve some cool lens flare and word blur effects while typing and scrolling. The code is entered using the keyboard, followed by the Enter Key twice (using your keyboard, press Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Enter, Enter). I only tried it on my profile page, where my wall is, so I don't know if it works everywhere. Still... pretty effin' cool.

Moreover, the same code works on Google Reader (for those of you who use that to read my blog) causing a different theme to appear in the side panel, as well as altering the number of unread messages to 30. You can simply input the code again to change it back to normal. If that's still not enough for you, please check out this Wikipedia page, for a larger list of games and websites that also use the code.

Finally, if there's anyone out there who knows how to program the HTML code that makes this work, I would love to know it. Random website cheat codes sounds like an awesome feature to implement in AlmostWorthKnowing.com.

Challenge: Here's the first challenge issued in a long time, and, as far as challenges go, it's a pretty hard one. Without use of the Internets, please tell me the codes used in the popular PC game, Doom, that allowed the player access to full ammo and weapons or that granted the player invincibility, also known as God-mode.